The Problem With Being Polite
Are you trapped in the "Socially Safe" zone?
If you look at human interaction, there’s a spectrum of feedback.
On one end, you have The Trolls, people who are mean just for the sake of being mean.
We don’t like them.
But on the other end, you have something that seems good but is actually kind of a trap: The Polite Society.
The primitive part of our brain is obsessed with social survival.
It’s wired to seek approval.
It warns us, 'If you’re too honest, you’ll look like a jerk. Just smile and say it’s great.”
So when a colleague shows us a mediocre work, we usually default to the “Socially Safe” response: “Hey, good job! Looks nice.”
We tell ourselves this is Respect. We are respecting their feelings.
But I read a piece this week that argues the exact opposite. The author suggests that the “Socially Safe” response isn’t respect at all, it’s just comfort.
True Respect is actually the willingness to look someone in the eye and say, “This is lame.”
It sounds harsh. But it’s actually a sign of deep trust. It means you respect their potential enough to not let them settle for mediocrity.
This weeks article is a short read, but it does a great job of distinguishing between 'looking for praise' and 'looking for improvement.'
Read here: True respect is the difference
That’s it for this week
Manoj
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